omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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