my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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