Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize