I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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