Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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