i don't like sucking hair
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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