moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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