Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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