Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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