I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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