Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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