ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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