I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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