I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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