Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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