The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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