i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize