I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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