My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize