Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize