i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize