Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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