He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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