so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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