im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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