Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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