Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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