Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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