nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize