Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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