I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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