she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm having to shit out rocks
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