I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize