Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize