Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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