...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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