I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Soap is not a condiment
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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