You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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