So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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