there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize