Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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