I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize