In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize