i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize