i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize