oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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