My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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