it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize