are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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