My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize